Every day I struggle between “I wanna look good naked” and “treat yo self.”
"As humans, we waste the shit out of our words. It’s sad. We use words like “awesome” and “wonderful” like they’re candy. It was awesome? Really? It inspired awe? It was wonderful? Are you serious? It was full of wonder? You use the word “amazing” to describe a goddamn sandwich at Wendy’s. What’s going to happen on your wedding day, or when your first child is born? How will you describe it? You already wasted “amazing” on a fucking sandwich."
Eventually we’re just gonna have to accept “ducking” as a swear word
you’re lying if you say you’ve never recorded yourself singing because you were sure you had talent and were so deeply disappointed that you just deleted the recording and pretended it never happened
i was funny once but it was an accident